And The Story Goes.....

It turned out that I replied the SMS...
I relpied it with Kerispatih's song....

"Berakhirlah sudah semua kisah ini dan jangan kau tangisi lagi...Sekalipun aku takkan pernah mencoba kembali padamu...Sejuta kata maaf terasa kan percuma....Sebab rasaku tlah..mati untuk menyadarinya....Semoga saja kan kau temukan hati yang tulus mencintaimu...tapi bukan aku..."

and this is how he replied me back:

"Kenapa? Kenapa harus kisah ini? Kenapa kamu tidak beri aku kesempatan? Katamu waktuku sebelum aku berangkat?"

And the deepest concious can't lie... It's screaming....I'll feel guilty if I don't give him the chance to speak. And so...I gave him that chance....

And the story goes....

He asked me to marry him...And later that night, his parents went to my house and asked my mom whether I can be their daugter in law....

This has been a very exhausting week for me and my family....Within a week, we've experienced something which none of us planned, and I'm sure that my mom felt the same way as I did....Gosh...It's like riding a rollercoaster...

And so...my mom held a family meeting, we discussed the positive and negative side of what I'm gonna decide, and they let me decide it my self....

That night felt like a very long night, I couldn't sleep...thinkin' about what I'm gonna decide...I was so like a freak...Fortunately, someone told me to be relax, the more I get fussy about it the more I'm getting far from my concious...And so I did what he told...I went to get my wudhu and did sholat....Oh God...please, give me the right decision, the right believe...Please help me God...And God did help me...

The day after, I set a meeting with him...I said that I need to discuss something..And we did have a very long discussion....Which I guess had made both of us comfortable with this decision...and I'm glad that I gave him that chance to meet me....We did broke up, and we're gonna take our own path in life....but yesterday was an unforgetable moment....It felt sweet, eventhough that we're not together anymore....It's even sweeter than our 9 years relationship....I felt so relieve...

We chatted, we laughed, we had dinner together, we went singing at nav....We let go all of the complicated things that had been going on...And it felt good...It felt like I've just met a new person, which I actually felt comfortable with...Oh God...Thank you....Thank you that I have the chance to feel this...Thank you, God...

I don't know what's gonna happen tommorow, but It's OK, 'cause I'm sure that God has planned something even more beautifull than what I've expected... I plan nothing....Let God plan it for me....

I hope that I can feel this forever....This feeling is so GREAT!!